Pondering?

Sometimes I wander if I did enough to impress my friends or to maintain the preconceptions they have of me. Then I catch myself thinking this and wander whether or not what my friends think of me really is me, or just someone I invented for them so they would like me. Inevitably I doubt if my friendships would crumble if they knew the real me, the me that doesn't want to fight for them to like me by doing things for them or buying them stuff. (Of course these are things friends do for each other) but...

would my friends still be mine if I didn't try so hard?

Or maybe I'm just paranoid...